“So you were under the impression that
you’d messed up because you got angry, is that it?” she asked. “You’ve been
working so hard on turning around those negative thoughts that when they fought
back, you really wanted to give in. Trust me, I get that.” Mary turned and
looked out over the water, the breeze blowing her hair back. “It’s so easy to
think we’re the problem, isn’t it? That anything bad that happens to us is some
form of punishment.” She paused before turning to look at me. “You’ve stopped
writing to God.” She didn’t ask, she told me.
I looked at her, stunned. “How did you
know?” My hair stood on end as I circled back to the idea that this woman was
somehow a physical manifestation of God. I knew how crazy it sounded because it
sounded insane even in my own mind. But I couldn’t see any other way.
“Rowan, let me tell you something,” she
sighed deeply as if it were a burden just to think about what she was going to
say. “Our entire world is full of people just wanting to belong. On some level,
we’re all damaged. Each in our own way. Some of us are barely holding it
together despite what it may look like on the outside. You can’t be hard on
yourself for having a bad day. You didn’t take it out on anyone else, did you?”
she asked.
“No,” I said. “I stayed home and did my
own thing.”
“Good, so you did well,” she said. “But
were you being nice to yourself? Or were you busy beating yourself up over it
all?”
I sighed. “I may have done a bit of
that.”
Mary shook her head. “Your thoughts are
words you speak to yourself. Don’t ever say anything to yourself you wouldn’t
say to someone else’s face. That’s just not fair. You don’t do that to people
you love.” I scoffed which made her look closer at me. “You gotta love
yourself, child. How else are you going to know what it feels like?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt love. Not
really,” I admitted.
“Maybe that’s because you didn’t let
yourself?” Mary suggested. “Maybe it was just safer to shut it all off?”
I felt like she’d just peered into my
life and saw it all. Like she’d been watching it on a screen and was giving me
her notes. How many times did I pull away at the first sign that the other
person might be withdrawing? How many times did I justify my actions because I
wasn’t going to let someone hurt me? There was suddenly a magnifying glass
being held up so that I could see every detail I’d missed before. My parents
hadn’t been the most loving people. I know now that they did love us, but they
just weren’t the best at showing it and as a kid, I didn’t understand.
From there it went to relationships with
friends, then boyfriends. As I got older, I had more failed relationships that
seemed to tell me to stay away from people. Getting close to someone always
meant one thing. That they’d eventually leave and then I’d be alone all over
again. I’d held onto Charlie like a warm sweater. He’d been a constant in my
life for a long time. So long that I hadn’t realized that he too was drifting
away. Maybe my whole life, the only person doing the drifting was me?
Letters to God
Krystal Doolittle
Genre: Religious/Spiritual
Date of Publication: March 13, 2020
ISBN: 9798612411468
ASIN: B08544CKH9
Number of pages: 120
Krystal Doolittle
Genre: Religious/Spiritual
Date of Publication: March 13, 2020
ISBN: 9798612411468
ASIN: B08544CKH9
Number of pages: 120
Word Count: 37,413
Cover Artist: Krystal Doolittle
Tagline: What if God looked like you and me?
Book Description:
Cover Artist: Krystal Doolittle
Tagline: What if God looked like you and me?
Book Description:
Rowan MacAllister never realized that she had become stuck in a boring cycle in her life until one day everything comes crashing down. Her best friend insists that they go to a new local psychic shop as a way to break out of the rut she’d been stuck in. But Rowan finds herself receiving wise advice that she takes to heart. She should start writing letters to let out everything that had been bottled up for far too long.
Penning a letter to God, she finds strange things happen the next day along with meeting an older woman named Mary. The two become fast friends and Mary seems to unknowingly address the letters that Rowan continues to write to God while they are apart. The coincidences become too much for Rowan who begins to wonder if perhaps Mary IS God.
Rowan searches for answers while putting the pieces of her life back together. Meanwhile learning that her thoughts truly do alter her reality and that sometimes the things you think are a curse can turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
About the Author:
Krystal lives in rural southeast Kansas, on the outskirts of an official ghost town with her husband and children, along with a multitude of animals. She can often be found taking a walk in nature, shuffling one of her many decks of tarot cards or finding something new to watch.
As a writer, she loves to craft stories that may be shorter in length, but are packed with unforgettable characters and situations that her readers can relate to. She understands that every villain can be a hero and every hero a villain.
My website is: https://www.krystalthewriter.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/krystalthewriter
a Rafflecopter giveaway
No comments:
Post a Comment